Yeah ... I'm too lazy to update my thoughs ... so have some jokes ...
The Koala and the Little Lizard A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala! what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at him and says:
"Faaaaarrrrk dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"
The Open GarageA boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down, and his fly wide open.
His secretary walked up to him and said, "boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" this was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his Office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, finally understood.
he then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his
secretary. when he reached her desk, he said, "when you saw the garage door open did you see my jaguar parked in there?" the secretary smiled for a moment and said, "no, boss I didn't. all I saw was a Mini with 2 flat tyres".